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Invisible Illness

“My name is Allyssa and I wear the white necklace for invisible illness. An illness with no face, no-one knew I had- tore through my life a violent execution. I have CPTSD. Instead of sharing the daily control, struggles and symptoms of the condition-there are many, I want to share the power that this disorder can have on you. When repeated trauma is part of your development growing up, the symptoms of cptsd appear to be part of your personality and identity. Because of this, my own cptsd went unnoticed ...until it took my life hostage. One day at work, I was fine, and then I wasnt. My vision seemed odd, my ears rang, my body went flush. I lost control of my body, i had flashbacks of trauma I had blacked out, i also hallucinated terrifying images, I was in and out of what felt like 'normal,' mania, and flashbacks. I had a psychotic break. I went to multiple hospitals and was treated like a liar and drug addict, that's how people made sense of my behavior. No attention was given to my mental health.  I did a longer inpatient stay and even with 24 hour care-noone knew what was wrong. My family was scared they would never have 'me' back. Doctors disagreed over a diagnosis. It wasnt until 2 months after the psychotic break that we finally found out, this is past trauma rearing its ugly face! I was left broken, my brain a scattered fragile shell. I was barely human, had to be cared for by my family.  I'm now on a path of #recovery from my past #trauma and the psychotic break. Trauma is the most avoided, ignored, denied, misunderstood and untreated cause of human suffering. - Peter Levine. We need awareness, we need compassion and acceptance. People with #cptsd are misdiagnosed every day, just like I was in the beginning, but some never get the treatment, or the gentle care that they need. I wear my necklace to create an opportunity to inform people in a stigma free way and to be a safe haven for others going through what I am.  There is help, there is treatment, there are people who get you, you are not alone, it's not fake, it's not all in your head, and it isnt your fault! I am here, for anyone who needs someone to lean on.” @beautiful_fibro_disaster

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