Eating Disorders - @speak_up_speak_now

“Hi I’m Jamie and I’m from Orlando Florida. Growing up, I always felt different. The way I  thought and the way I felt wasn’t normal, but I never knew exactly what it was so I went about life thinking everyone was the same way. I can trace my very first anxiety attack all the way back to when I was three years-old. Of course, we wouldn’t have called it that then – just a kid having a meltdown, right? Well that moment was the beginning of what would be the rest of my life battling anxiety. By the age of eight, I began to take notice of my body in comparison to other girls. I was humiliated in my ballet class by my teacher for having my belly out. I was told (in front of everyone) that it looked as though I had swallowed a basketball for lunch. By age eleven, my big challenge to take on in life was middle school – my worst nightmare.  I was a socially awkward, shy, and sensitive kid – middle school ate me alive. As fate would have it, this stage of life is where my eating disorder began to take its form and depression wasn’t too far behind it. I hated myself and I hated my body. I remember the moment I decided I would start skipping meals. I was sitting in front of a mirror studying my body and as I saw the purple stripes begin to form on my inner thighs, I needed a plan of action – and fast. Restriction was my method of controlling my weight up until the 10^th grade when I discovered bingeing and purging. The self-hatred I felt for my body only increased as I allowed others to disrespect it. Girls belittled me, boys abused me, and I abused myself. This white necklace, I wear to represent my invisible illnesses. Anxiety, depression, and OCD. The periwinkle necklace, I wear to represent my eating disorder. These necklaces represent hope that these invisible illnesses will be brought to light and that individuals will come forward and share their story. I’m grateful for the opportunity @awarecauses has given me and many others to be able to share our stories.” @speak_up_speak_now