Infertility - @rememberthebabies

"I’ve struggled with Infertility for a couple of years. But finally February 2018 I found out I was pregnant. Expecting my first child. It was really hard to believe after trying for so long I was finally pregnant. After the doctor confirmed my pregnancy through a urine & blood test, it became surreal. I was hoping for a girl but either way just wanted a healthy baby. At my 2nd doctor visit I was told we see the sac but we don’t see a baby. I was confused and holding tears back. The dr explained that a empty sac know as anembryonic pregnancy is when the embryo failed to develop in my case it could be that or it’s just to early to see the baby. The dr wanted me to schedule another appointment & told me not to worry. I cried so hard on the way home. Still trying to process what the doctor said. When I went to my 3rd Doctor visit , my doctor confirmed she could see the baby. I got to see my baby & his or her heartbeat flicker. I got pictures to take home. I was just so happy & in awww. My due date was set for October 19th 2018. Since the heartbeat was flickering weak the doctor wanted me to schedule another appointment. I didn’t think anything of it because I was still early. At my 4th doctor visit , the doctor confirmed the baby had no heartbeat and to prepare for a Miscarriage. Just like that i felt like my world was over. I felt defective, super depressed, and suicidal. I am beyond thankful for my man that was by my side from the beginning at every doctor appointment. He helped pull me out of this deep depression that turned me evil while he was dealing & processing it on his own he always put me first. Through this I still had a decision to make. Do I want to let the baby pass naturally or do I want to have a D&C. Mentally , physically, & emotional I knew I couldn’t bare to let my child pass naturally & see it so I choose the D&C. It took me 8 months to break my silence surrounding my miscarriage. But once I did, my man & I started a non profit organization called Remember The Babies Foundation which breaks the silence surrounding miscarriage, still birth , & infant loss. I learned the more I tell my story it helps me connect with women who have been through the same devastation as me. It’s a comfort & helps the healing process to tell my story & also listen to theirs." @rememberthebabies

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